CHILD LIKE WONDER-WHEN ASHES BECOME A CROWN OF BEAUTY!

I am convinced, that Heavens walls will be lined with the sloping vines of honeysuckle. The rich yellows and whites magnified by Gods glory. Each intricate flower blooming with the sweetest smell and surrounded in turn with the rich purples of Lavender. Each one larger than life, the nectar of the honey suckles filling your mouth and tickling your tongue as your eyes light up with joy.

I'm also convinced that there will be a limitless amount of the largest mulberry and plumb trees your mind could comprehend. Each mulberry the size of a large thumb, each plumb the size of your hand, the sweet juice dripping out as a giggle bubble out from deep in your chest.

Children are filled with such a pure rich joy- a joy that we too can experience through the Lord. When you think of Heaven, what images come to mind? What smells instantly cause your eyes to flutter shut? My own nose tickles at the idea of the rich scent of leather, horse, and wet dirt. The sweet undertone of lavender and honeysuckle.

As a child, we so quickly go from WONDER to RESPONSIBILITY. And more often than we would like to admit, there is extreme trauma involved that causes a child to grow too quickly. To take on more responsibility than God intended. Ashes replace the joy, choking of the vines of hope with a stifling presence that numbs the very soul.

Whether your trauma is control, authoritative, abuse, rape, molestation, not enough food, health implications, neglect, and so many more thousands of struggles- I do not know the ash you trudge through. But I do know of one that does.

The beauty of recognizing and depending on someone you can't see-is the PEACE that fills your body. The words repeated to me: "You're worthless, you're used up, you'll never amount to anything, you psycho, etc...." a distant past. My life a burnt innocence- turned to ash I stand and stare at.

Each individual pile of ash they stand staring at- HOW? How did we get here? Why would a God of Love allow it?

Beautiful soul- there is beauty in the ashes. (Isaiah 61:3) There are needed nutrients in ash too grow and enrich your soil, even if they may smudge across your skin and leave an ugly mark. A mark that may make you feel hopeless. Take heart oh beautiful one, there is opportunity in the struggle. See, Gods strength in the midst of our hardship when we fully surrender means He alone can take those ashes and bring tremendous value too them. His strength takes hold of the ash that began to suffocate that childlike wonder so long ago, and squashes it down, adding pressure we don't have the ability to overcome on our own. A pressure that cleanses, purifies, and turns to the rich beauty of a shining diamond.

Your transgressions, hardships, and trauma do not define you. BUT what you choose to do with them does. Your healing comes from the Lord alone- and letting go, over, and over, and over again. Your healing comes from gazing around the world and ALLOWING that Child Like wonder to prick you again. ALLOWING God to show you that through Him you are more precious than rubies. (Proverbs 3:15)

When was the last time you gazed at your children, and just admired it quietly for a moment? Your inner child screaming at the unfairness of it while also allowing a bubble of joy to overtake you- feeding off your children to be filled with your own wonder in the midst of your children's giggles?

I have- and vowed to more often- to open my eyes to Gods beauty- To HAND GOD my ashes with a sad smile and nod my head solemnly. He takes them with His own joy and squishes them down- into a crown of beauty.

When you look at your life, have you truly changed? IF you are saved, has God been working on your heart? Have you checked your heart posture recently? Or are your eyes still on the world and missing out on that childlike wonder? Have you allowed yourself to fully surrender too him and slowed down to LISTEN? Or are you speeding through, allowing the world to dictate a laugh here or there?

Joy comes with the Lord. Happiness and feelings are fleeting, but the Lord's joy grows and grows- filling the empty places that your inner child screams about. Your ashes are not a weakness. They are an asset to be made into a crown of beauty. Will you allow God to bring your joy back and place that crown delicately on your head?

What does your crown look like?

I imagine mine to be a stark contrast of silvers, grays, and golds, of aqua blue and purples intwined and radiating together. Gods hand working and molding each hardship into its own small leaf and budding flower. Small diamonds of hardship and trauma turned to beauty embedded in it- a tapestry of the beauty He alone created through me. My heart SWELLS at the thought of the beauty of it.

Gorgeous broken soul, or healing, or a little lost, or maybe even following on Gods path obediently, or maybe even already healed- take a moment to SLOW DOWN and think of that crown- of handing God the ashes- holding your stained hands up in praise as he takes them from you and washes you clean. Let His joy radiate and fill you to the brim.

What a glorious day- to have a crown made from those ashes and a cup that's filled again with childlike wonder.